Coping with Grief : A Compassionate Guide to Healing in 2025

Navigate the complex journey of grief with this heartfelt 2025 guide. Find practical coping strategies, support resources, and gentle support for healing at your own pace.  

"Grief is the price we pay for love" - Queen Elizabeth II

Grief: An Unwelcome Visitor

Grief is like an unwelcome visitor that arrives without warning, is unpredictable, and stays far too long. I know this because I’ve lived through it. Like many others I've been there myself. When you're grieving the loss of someone you deeply loved, the weight of that loss can feel unbearable and isolating.  

Did you know that millions of people around the world experience the loss of a close loved one each year? Even when grief makes you feel isolated, remember that countless others are walking this difficult path alongside you.  

The Unpredictable Nature of Grief

The truth is, grief doesn't follow a neat timeline or a predictable pattern. Some days you might feel like you are coping, and then – wham! – a song on the radio or the scent of a familiar perfume or aftershave can send you spiralling.  That’s completely normal, I promise.

I remember, two years after my husband died sitting in McDonalds having breakfast before a seminar when a song from our wedding day started playing. In an instant, I was back in that moment, overwhelmed by memories and emotions I thought I had under control. I barely made it through my coffee without breaking down.  And, if I’m being honest, it still happens – more often than I’d like - especially in the middle of the supermarket when I least expect it. 

No Quick Fixes Just Compassionate Strategies

In this coping with grief guide, I’m not here to offer clichés or quick fixes. My goal is to share compassionate, practical strategies that supported me through the depths of grief. I’ve combined insights from recent research with lessons learned from my own raw, personal journey of loss.

There's no "right way" to grieve (and anyone who tells you otherwise hasn’t walked this path), but there are ways to process your feelings, honour your loss, and, bit-by-bit begin to heal.  

Remember, healing isn't about forgetting – it's about finding a way to carry your memories with love while rebuilding your life, and finding your way forward, one small step at a time. Let’s take that step together. 

Understanding Grief: It's More Than Sadness 

Grief isn’t just sadness. It’s a complex blend of emotions that can hit when you least expect it. One day, you might feel numb and the next, you’re overwhelmed by sadness, anger, or even guilt. 

The Many Faces of Grief 

When we think of grief. We often think of the pain that comes after losing someone we love. But grief wears many faces:

• Anticipatory grief - mourning a loss before it happens, like when a loved one is terminally ill. I experienced this when my husband was bedridden after three strokes for five long years. Knowing the inevitable was coming didn’t make the pain any easier – it just stretched it out.  

• Complicated grief - lingers and intensifies, making it hard to function months or even years after a loss, as though time has stood still while the rest of the world moves on.

• Disenfranchised grief – the kind that society doesn’t always recognise or validate, such as mourning a miscarriage, the loss of a beloved pet, or the end of an important relationship.  While these losses are different, they each carry weight and deserve acknowledgement.   

  
  

Forget the "Five Stages" 

We’ve all heard about the five stages of grief, right? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance - sounds straightforward enough. But if you've experienced grief, you’ll know it’s rarely that simple.   

Grief isn’t a tidy, step-by-step journey. It’s more like an emotional roller-coaster that no one warned you about. One day, you might feel a surprising sense of calm, and the next, you're raging at the world for continuing as if nothing happened. I remember a morning when I felt okay - almost "normal" - and by the afternoon, I was in tears because I caught a glimpse of my husband's handwriting on an old birthday card.   

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it certainly doesn’t stick to a set of stages. And that’s okay. Your journey is yours, and however you’re feeling right now is exactly how you’re meant to feel.  

Grief’s Invisible Weight 

Grief isn’t just emotional - it’s physical too. It can show up as brain fog, fatigue, headaches, or even a dull ache in your chest. I remember weeks when I couldn’t sleep or eat, convinced I was coming down with the flu. But it turned out, my body was simply weighed down by the heaviness of my loss. And it makes sense - grief is an enormous emotional load to carry, and your body feels it too.   

So, if you find yourself forgetting what day it is, struggling to focus, or feeling exhausted for no reason, be gentle with yourself. Rest when you need to. Nourish yourself when you can. Your body is working incredibly hard to help you heal.   

Practical Self-Care Strategies for Navigating Grief 

Grief is like a storm, and self-care becomes your anchor. Here are some strategies to support yourself during this challenging time. 

1. Create Daily Anchors 

Simple daily rituals, like lighting a candle in the evening or enjoying a morning cup of tea, can provide a sense of structure when time feels distorted. 

2. Move Your Body 

Gentle movement, like walking or stretching, helps release built-up tension. Grief often manifests physically, and moving can restore a sense of calm. 

3. Practice Grounding Techniques 

The 5-4-3-2-1 method is a powerful grounding tool: 

• 5 things you see (the pattern on the wall, the sky outside). 

• 4 things you touch (the fabric of your sweater, the chair beneath you). 

• 3 things you hear (birds outside, the hum of the fridge).

• 2 things you smell (a candle, your coffee). 

• 1 thing you taste (a mint, or just the lingering taste in your mouth). 

This exercise helps pull you back to the present when memories or emotions become overwhelming. 

4. Nourish Your Body 

Grief can disrupt appetite and sleep. Focus on small, nourishing meals and prioritise rest. If you’re struggling to sleep, consider calming bedtime routines, like turning off devices an hour before bed or listening to a guided meditation. 

5. Give Yourself Permission to Pause 

It’s okay to say no to social events or take time off work if needed. Grief requires energy, and sometimes, stepping back is essential for healing. 

Finding Support: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone 

Grief can feel alienating. Even when you’re surrounded by people, it might seem like no one truly understands what you’re going through.  That’s why connecting with others who’ve experienced similar loss can be so powerful. There’s something profoundly comforting about sitting with someone who doesn’t flinch when you say your loved one’s name or cry mid-sentence.  

I remember joining an online grief forum a few months after my husband's death. At first, I just lurked, reading others' stories. But then I saw a post from someone describing the exact ache I felt - the surreal mix of heartbreak and numbness. I commented, they replied, and suddenly I felt a little less alone. Finding the right support can make all the difference.

1. Find Your Grief Tribe - The People Who "Get It"

Connecting with others who understand your pain can be profoundly healing. In 2025, there are more options than ever for finding your “grief tribe.” There are in-person groups at community centres, hospices, churches, hospitals, as well as online spaces where you can share, cry and even laugh with others who just get it.

You could also try online grief forums (my favourite) and apps, like GriefSpace and Loss-app. All these provide safe spaces to share and connect. You might be surprised by the sense of relief that comes from talking to people who truly understand.

2. Communicate Your Needs 

Most people want to help but don’t know how. Let’s be honest, when you’re overwhelmed by grief, figuring out what you need, let alone asking for it, feels impossible.  But giving people clear, specific ways to support you makes a world of difference. 

Instead of saying, "I need help", try something more concrete:  

• "Can you sit with me for a while?" 

• "Could you help with groceries this week?" 

• "Would you mind walking with me this weekend? I probably won’t feel like talking much, but I’d appreciate the company."  

True friends won’t judge your needs - they’ll just show up. If someone doesn’t respond the way you hoped? That’s about them, not you. Grief has a way of clarifying who your real support people are.   

3. Handle Unhelpful Comments Gracefully 

Grief makes people uncomfortable - often because they don’t know what to say. Well-meaning friends and family sometimes offer comments that, despite their best intentions, end up hurting more than helping:

• "They're in a better place now."  

• "It's time to move on."

• "At least you had so many good years together."  

• "Everything happens for a reason."  

If you've heard these, you're not alone. I remember someone telling me, "You're young -you’ll find someone else." I knew they meant well, but I wanted to scream. The truth is, people often default to clichés because they don’t know what else to say.  

You don’t have to engage in these moments. Here are a few responses that can help you protect your peace without starting a debate:  

• "I know you're trying to help, but I just need someone to listen right now."  

• "I appreciate your concern. I'm still figuring out what I need."  

• "Thank you for being here. I'm having a tough time today."  

  
  

If certain people consistently say the wrong things or minimise your pain, it’s okay to set boundaries or step back. Grief requires energy, and you don’t need to spend yours educating others.  

Final Thoughts on Finding Support

Grief is a deeply personal experience, but it doesn't have to be a solitary one. Whether it's through a support group, a trusted friend, a therapist, or even a stranger on a grief forum who knows exactly how you feel, connection is a powerful antidote to isolation.  

You don’t have to carry this burden alone. Reach out. Speak your loved one’s name. Let people in, even when it feels risky. Because healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens when your grief is seen, heard, and honoured.    

Grief in the Digital Age  - The Bittersweet Reality 

Grief is hard enough without social media memories ambushing you when you least expect it. These days, grief doesn’t just live in photo albums or old letters; it lingers in notifications, text threads, and social media memories.   

I’ll never forget the day Facebook reminded me of a holiday my husband and I took five years earlier. One moment, I was scrolling through my feed, and the next, I was crying into my cup of tea, completely blindsided.   

Sometimes, these digital reminders feel like a hug from the past; other times, they feel like a gut-punch. If you need to mute certain memories or take a break from social media altogether, that's perfectly okay. Grief is unpredictable enough without being ambushed by algorithms. 

What Science Says - Grief and Your Brain 

Grief doesn’t just break your heart - it also rewires your brain, at least temporarily. Research shows that the intense emotional processing that comes with grief can affect memory, focus, and even basic decision-making.   

If you've ever found yourself standing in the kitchen with no idea why you went in there, or completely blanking on simple tasks, you’re not alone. It’s called "grief brain," and it’s a real, scientifically recognised phenomenon.   

Your mind is working overtime to make sense of a loss that feels senseless. So go easy on yourself. Make lists, set reminders, and know that, with time, your cognitive fog will start to lift.   

Creating Rituals to Honour Your Loved One 

Rituals provide comfort by giving grief a tangible outlet. Here are a few ways to keep your loved one's memory alive: 

1. Memory Box 

Fill a box with photos, letters, and small mementos that remind you of your loved one. I have a memory box of my husband’s things including, a key chain he always carried, a programme  from our last cruise, his aftershave, and a scarf that still, even years later, smells faintly like him. Whenever I open that box, it feels like he's sitting right beside me.  

2. Memory Garden 

Planting a garden can be a beautiful tribute. Flowers they loved, a tree in their honour, or even a simple potted plant on the windowsill can serve as a living reminder that their memory still grows with you.  

3. Creative Expression 

Writing letters, crafting memorial quilts, or even composing a song can transform pain into creative expression. 

4. Celebrate Special Dates 

Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can be emotional landmines. Plan in advance: light a candle, visit a favourite place, or start a new tradition that honours their memory. 

When Grief Becomes Too Heavy: Knowing When to Seek Help 

Grief is a deeply personal journey. Some days, you feel like you’re finally keeping your head above water - getting through the day without crying, maybe even smiling at an old memory. Then, without warning, a song, a scent, or a familiar phrase knocks you flat, and you're back in the depths again. That's the nature of grief: unpredictable, exhausting, and utterly disorienting.  

Most people can navigate these waves with time, support, and self-care. But sometimes, grief takes hold in a way that makes daily life feel unbearable. If you're feeling stuck or lost, it might be time to reach out for professional help. And there’s no shame in that - grief is heavy, and no one should have to carry it alone. Here’s what to look for and how to get the support you need. 

Red Flags to Watch For: Signs You Might Need Extra Support  

Grief, even in its most "normal" form, can make life feel hard. But there are certain signs that indicate it might be time to get some outside help.  

• Daily Life Feels Impossible: If you find yourself struggling with everyday tasks - like getting out of bed, responding to messages, or remembering to eat - for weeks or months on end, it might be more than just typical grief.  

• Persistent Numbness or Disconnection: Grief can cause temporary emotional numbness - that feeling of walking through life on autopilot. But if days start blending into weeks and you feel like you're watching life from the outside, it might be time to reach out.  

• Intense, Prolonged Sadness: Feeling sad is normal. But if your sadness feels like a constant, heavy fog you can’t escape, or if it’s accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, it might be depression rather than grief alone.  

• Thoughts of Self-Harm or Suicide: If you’ve had persistent thoughts about wanting to disappear, not wake up, or hurt yourself, seek help immediately. You don’t have to face this pain alone - there are people who care and who want to help.  

• Increased Substance Use: If you’re relying more heavily on alcohol, medication, or other substances to numb the pain, it might be time to talk to someone. These coping mechanisms can quickly become harmful if left unchecked.  

  
  

Gentle Reminder: Grief doesn't come with a stopwatch. There's no "right" time to feel better. But if it feels like the sadness is getting worse, not better - or like it’s taken over your life - reaching out for help isn’t a failure. It’s an act of strength.    

Finding the Right Support: Who Can Help and How  

The world of mental health support can feel like trying to read a map in the dark - especially when grief has already drained your energy. Here’s a quick breakdown of the types of professionals who can help: 

• Grief Counsellors: These professionals specialise in loss and bereavement. They understand the nuances of grief and can help you process your feelings in a safe, compassionate space.  

• Therapists or Psychologists: If your grief is accompanied by anxiety, depression, or trauma, a therapist can help you unpack those layers. Therapy isn’t just about talking -it’s about learning new ways to cope and finding hope again.  

• Psychiatrists: Psychiatrists are doctors who can prescribe medication if needed. If your grief has triggered severe anxiety, depression, or sleep problems, medication might help give your brain the breathing space it needs to heal.  

  
  

Tip: When choosing a therapist or counsellor, go with your gut. Yes, qualifications matter - but what matters most is how you feel with them. A good therapist will help you feel heard, understood, and safe. And if the first one doesn’t? It’s okay to keep looking.  

 Overcoming Stigma: It's Okay to Ask for Help  

Despite all the progress we've made around mental health awareness, there’s still a stigma around seeking help for grief. Some people worry that turning to therapy means they’re "weak" or that they should be able to "get over it" on their own. Nothing could be further from the truth.  

• You wouldn’t hesitate to see a doctor if you broke your leg. Emotional pain is just as real as physical pain - and it deserves the same level of care.  

• Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of courage. It takes strength to admit you’re struggling and to take steps to find support.  

• Grief is universal. Across every culture and time period, humans have turned to others for support after loss. Therapy isn’t about erasing your grief; it’s about learning to carry it differently - so the weight feels less suffocating and the memories feel less painful.  

  
  

Reframe the Thought: If you ever catch yourself thinking, "I should be able to handle this on my own", try switching it to: "I deserve support while I carry this pain." Because you do.   

Moving Forward While Honouring Your Loss 

Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting; it means learning to carry your love and memories in a new way. Here are some gentle steps to help you find meaning again. 

1. Maintain a Connection 

Continue your bond by talking to your loved one, writing letters, or creating a small memory space at home. 

2. Share Your Story 

Whether it’s through a blog, a support group, or private journaling, sharing your grief helps you process the experience and connect with others. 

3. Embrace Joy Without Guilt 

The first time you feel joy after a loss, guilt often follows. But happiness doesn’t erase your grief - it simply proves that love endures alongside it. 

Closing Thoughts: Walking with Grief, Living with Love   

Grieving is perhaps one of the most profound human experiences we face. As we've explored in this guide, there's no single "right way" to navigate this journey. What matters most is that you give yourself permission to feel, to heal at your own pace, and to seek the support you need along the way.  

I want you to know something important: healing doesn't mean forgetting – it means finding a way to carry your love and memories forward as you gradually rebuild your life. Some days will be harder than others, and that's okay. Be patient with yourself, just as you would with a dear friend going through the same experience.  

If you take away just one thing from this guide, let it be this: you are not alone. Millions of others have walked this path before you, and there are hands ready to hold yours when you need support. Reach out, share your story, and trust that while grief may change you, it won't define you. With time, compassion, and the right resources, you can find your way to a meaningful life that honours both your loss and your capacity for healing.  

I believe in your resilience, even on the days when you don't feel it yourself. Take it one breath, one step, one moment at a time. And remember – it's okay to not be okay sometimes. That's part of being human, and part of loving deeply.  

Always With You  

Not in the past, not far away, 

They walk beside you every day. 

In whispered winds and stars above, 

In memories filled with endless love. 

Not lost, not gone, just out of view - 

Yet every step, they walk with you. 

Their love remains, so strong, so true, 

Forever here, in all you do.