10 Signs of Low Self Esteem and How to Fix Them

6 days ago6 min read

Do you struggle with self-doubt? Discover 10 signs of low self-esteem and practical tips to rebuild your confidence and self-worth. Let’s talk about what’s holding you back - and how to change it.

A group of people sit in a cafe, gazing forward. Text above reads "not good enough," "why bother," "not worthy." Mood is contemplative. — Low self esteem can feel isolating, but you are not alone

Introduction

Let’s talk about something we’ve all felt at some point - low self-esteem. You know that little voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough” or “Why would anyone care what you have to say?” It’s sneaky, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s loud and obvious and at other times, it’s just a quiet hum in the background, making everything a little harder.

Here’s the thing: self-esteem isn’t just about feeling good when you look in the mirror. It’s how you show up for yourself in life. It’s about believing you deserve love, success, and good things - even when things feel tough. And the good news? You don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle of self-doubt.

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through these links. I only recommend products I genuinely love and believe will be helpful to you.

Today, I want to share 10 signs that low self-esteem might be holding you back (don’t worry - we’ve all been there) and, more importantly, what you can do about it. Oh, and if you’re ready to take action, I’ve added a few tools and resources I’ve personally found helpful -they’re simple, effective, and might be just what you need to get started.

What is Self Esteem, and Why Does It Matter?

Person in grey pyjamas reads a book on a rug. Words like confidence, self-worth, and resilience float around. Warm light, cosy room.

Let’s keep this simple. Self-esteem isn't always easy to spot. It sneaks into how you think, feel and act in ways you might not even realise.

Self-esteem is your relationship with yourself. It’s how you value your own worth and how you talk to yourself - in simple terms, kindly, like a friend, or critically, like an impossible boss.

When it’s strong, life feels lighter. You bounce back from mistakes, trust your choices, and don’t second-guess yourself every five seconds. But when it’s shaky, even small things can feel overwhelming. That one awkward comment at work? It’ll replay in your head for days.

Here’s a wild statistic: about 85% of people struggle with low self-esteem at some point. So, if you’re feeling this way, you’re far from alone. And the best part? Self-esteem isn’t fixed. It’s not something you’re born with and stuck with forever. It’s like a muscle - you can strengthen it with practice and develop your own tactics that help you deal with it as and when needed.

So how do you know if low self-esteem is holding you back? Here are 10 clear signs to watch out for - and what you can do to start turning things around.

10 Signs of Low Self-Esteem

1. Constantly Seeking Approval from Others

Person at a desk, looking thoughtful with hand on cheek. Sticky notes cover a laptop. Thought bubble reads, "IS THIS OKAY?" Mood is contemplative.

Do you feel uneasy when people don’t compliment your work or decisions? Maybe you’re always asking, “Is this okay?” even when you’re pretty sure it is. Constantly needing approval and recognition can feel like carrying a backpack full of rocks - it’s exhausting.

Here’s the truth: your worth isn’t defined by other people’s opinions. It’s something you already have, even if you don’t always see it.

2. Difficulty Accepting Compliments

Two people in casual blue shirts joyfully interact. One gestures with raised hands. Speech bubble says "YOU DID AMAZING!" Indoor setting. — Next time just say thank you - no excuses needed

“Wow, you did an amazing job!”“Oh, it was nothing. Anyone could’ve done it.”

Sound familiar? If you find yourself brushing off compliments like they’re hot potatoes, it’s a sign you might believe you don't deserve them. Next time someone says something kind, take a deep breath and just say, “Thank you.” No excuses, no deflection - just let it land.

3. Fear of Failure or Taking Risks

Person stands under a tall ladder beneath a clear sky. A small bird perches on a rung, creating a whimsical scene. — Taking the first step can feel scary but it's the only way to reach new heights

If you’ve ever avoided trying something new because you were afraid of messing up, you’re not alone. Fear of failure can be paralysing. But guess what? Messing up is part of learning. Nobody becomes great at something without a few face plants along the way.

4. Negative Self-Talk

Smiling woman reflected in a mirror with affirming sticky notes: "You're enough," "got this," "I am worthy." Plant and soft lighting in background. — Start small, be kind to yourself

Do you ever catch yourself thinking things like, “I’m so stupid” or “Why do I even bother?” That inner voice can be so brutal. And the more you listen to it, the more you start to believe it.

Here’s a quick trick: combat negative self-talk with gratitude. Grab a gratitude journal, like The Five-Minute Gratitude Journal, which comes with daily prompts to help you shift your mindset. Alternatively you can just use a plain everyday notebook. Writing down three things you’re grateful for every day might seem small, but it can help rewire how you see yourself and the world around you.

Practical Exercise

Write down one negative thought you’ve had about yourself today. Now, rewrite it as if you were comforting a friend. For example:

Negative thought: “I’m so bad at this.”
Rewritten: “This is new, and it’s okay to take time to learn.”

5. Comparing Yourself to Others

Split image of a woman in grey lounge wear. Left: worried, looking at a phone. Right: relaxed, sipping from a mug on a cosy sofa.

Social media is a comparison trap waiting to happen. One minute you’re scrolling, and the next, you’re spiralling because someone else seems to have the perfect life, job, or relationship. But here’s the truth: you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.

6. Struggling to Set Boundaries

Person in blue shirt outside, pointing at a black sign with arrows labelled "YES" and "NO," pointing at "NO". Set against a blurred, wooded background. Mood is decisive.

Do you say “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Maybe it’s agreeing to things out of guilt or fear of disappointing someone. Setting boundaries can feel awkward at first, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do.

Not sure where to start? The book The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades is a practical guide to learning how to prioritise yourself without guilt. It’s like having a personal cheerleader for your boundaries!

Objection: “But won’t people think I’m selfish if I say no?” Absolutely not. Saying no isn’t about being selfish - it’s about being honest. Most people respect boundaries when you communicate them kindly. And let’s be real: the people who don’t respect them? They’re probably the reason you need boundaries in the first place.

7. Avoiding Social Situations

Blue envelope with "Party Invitation" on table. Woman in pink sweater relaxes on couch, using phone. Cosy room with bookshelves, lamp, and plant. — Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to focus on you

Ever skip an event because you’re worried about what people will think of you? Low self-esteem loves to convince us we’re being judged. But here’s a little secret: most people are too busy worrying about themselves to focus on you.

8. Perfectionism

Smiling woman holding a slightly imperfect sprinkle-covered cake. People clapping in the foreground. Background with colourful balloons and bunting. Festive mood. — Progress beats perfection every time

Perfectionism can look like a strength, but it’s often rooted in fear. If you’re constantly thinking, “If it’s not perfect, I’ve failed,” it’s time to let that go. Progress beats perfection every time.

Challenge: Give yourself permission to do something badly. Seriously. Write a messy first draft. Make a cake that leans a little to the left. Trust me, the world won’t end if it’s not perfect - and you might even have some fun.

9. Feeling Unworthy of Love or Success

Woman smiling at herself in a mirror, holding a glass plaque reading "YOU'RE ENOUGH." The setting is warm and calming. — You are worthy - flaws and all

If you’ve ever thought, “Why would anyone love me?” or “I don’t deserve this opportunity,” that’s low self-esteem talking. Here’s a reminder: you are worthy of good things - just as you are, flaws and all.

10. Overthinking Everything

A woman in a white blouse sits thoughtfully, surrounded by dream bubbles. A hand rests on her shoulder in a library setting. Calm mood.

Do you replay conversations in your head, wondering if you said the wrong thing? I do this all the time. I know from experience that overthinking is exhausting, and most of the time, it’s unnecessary. Trust me - people aren’t analysing your every word.

Recommended Tools for Building Self-Esteem

Gratitude journal, pen, open book with "You Are a Badass;" cup of tea with cinnamon and star anise; wooden table setting, calm mood.

Reminder: Some of the links in this section are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the blog and helping me keep creating helpful content!

Here’s a curated list of tools and resources to help you on your journey. These are practical, beginner-friendly, and can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself:

1. Gratitude and Reflection

The Five-Minute Gratitude Journal: This journal includes simple daily prompts to help you focus on what’s going well, even on tough days.

2. Self-Help Books

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero: A fun and empowering book to help you build confidence, let go of fear, and live your best life. You can also get this on Kindle or as an audiobook
The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades: A step-by-step guide to setting boundaries and saying no without guilt.

3. Self-Care Essentials

Dr. Teal’s Epsom Salt Soaks: Perfect for relaxing and prioritising physical self-care after a long day.
Aromatherapy Essential Oil Diffuser: Create a calming environment for journaling or reflecting.

4. Online Courses

Skillshare – Confidence and Self-Development Courses: Take classes on confidence-building, mindfulness, and personal growth from top instructors.
Udemy – The Power of Positive Thinking: Learn how to re-frame negative thoughts and build a growth-oriented mindset.

Your Next Step Towards Self Worth

So, how are you feeling? Did any of these signs resonate with you? If they did, don’t worry—you’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. Self-esteem isn’t something you fix overnight, but with small, consistent steps, you can change how you see yourself.

Start small today: accept a compliment without deflecting, say no when you mean no, or try writing in a gratitude journal. If you’re ready to take things further, check out the tools and resources I’ve recommended—they’re simple but incredibly effective.

Path in a forest at sunrise with signs reading Growth, Confidence, Resilience. Warm light through trees creates a serene mood. — The journey to self worth starts with small consistent steps

I’d love to hear from you - what’s one thing you’re going to try this week to boost your confidence? Drop me a comment below. I’m cheering you on every step of the way! 💛

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